"Dis"connecting

With all my talk about "connections", I am now going to go against the grain and talk about DISconnecting.  I don't mean that I now have a new philosophy about our school and community, or expect each individual to act without consideration or alignment with others.  Rather, I am reflecting on the use of technology in our lives.

The Reading district prides itself in the use of using technology to enhance the classroom.  I am also not talking about this in this blog.  I believe strongly that technology can be a wonderful tool in the classroom.  That is for another blog post!

What I am talking about today is our personal dependency, as adults and young adults, to OVER-depend on  personal technology in our everyday lives.  So many things in life feel so important, and we need to know them, and deal with them, right away.  New work emails.  Phone calls from relatives.  Facebook updates.  The dinging of the phone as another text comes in ("come read me!  right now!" that sound cries).  The fact that we are always with technology creates an environment for always being reachable, and always being able to reach who and what we want, when we want it.  It's often a good thing.  Yet it's often a detrimental thing as well.

As adults, we can reflect back and can remember our first computers, our first email accounts, our first cell phones.  For me, personal technology began in high school, where I had a Brother typewriter with a small screen that allowed me to type my writing assignments on the screen prior to hitting the "print" button, at which point the typewriter portion of the device would go into action, slapping my words onto the paper.  If I wanted to use a computer, I went to the school library with my hard disk, where I could use the (new!) Apple computers to word process.  Mind you, I went to a top-notch high school that had everything to offer to its students.  But not yet the internet, not yet cell phones, not yet email.  And while I'm starting to feel old, that wasn't too very long ago!

Throughout my college years, technology grew rapidly; I got my first computer (it had its problems) with my first Ethernet cable and email by my senior year.  While word processing got easier, and the ability to email friends was so exciting, we made most of our plans, and shared information, by phone or face, in dining halls, classes, and on the sports fields.  To find each other we often went for walks around the small college town, as we didn't yet have cell phones.

And so that pattern continued through graduate school and my early adulthood, with hard-wired phones being the mode of communication and the internet developing in leaps and bounds.  I did much of my research in libraries and with real texts.  Professors provided handouts and binders with information to read.  I called my parents, siblings, and friends at least weekly from my home phone.

It has been seventeen years since I left graduate school (I realize I am dating myself here).... fast forward to the vacation week that we are just finishing.  I am reflecting on my own use of technology over this week, as well as that of my children.  And I am wondering if the rest of you reflect on this as well.  How dependent were you on technology?  How dependent were your children?  Those 7th graders who attended Prindle Pond did not bring cell phones and did not call home during their 4.5 days away from home; there were no gaming devices or computers.  How did they handle that when they first heard of it?  How did it feel for them?  How did it feel for you?  While it probably made intellectual sense (let the kids immerse themselves in the experience), in reality it was probably a challenge for many.  But did it enhance the experience?  Certainly.  Did it allow them to focus on face to face communication, relationships, and real-life connections?  Absolutely.  So for that experience, the LACK of technology allowed enhancement of connections.  This is one example about the importance of face to face experiences, not just technology, for making connections with people.

As for my vacation week, I really struggled with dis-connecting.  I purposefully went away in order to separate myself from my home and all the projects that I would do if I was in my home space.  I also felt it healthy to separate from work, emails, phone calls, and the list of work things to do, as the list is never ending.  I packed a great book, exercise clothing, and a list of (fun!) things I wanted to do on vacation.  Yet I still also packed my work computer and of course my cell phone.  As for my children, while they brought their iPods and iPad devices (which were certainly useful during travel), theu also packed books, snorkels, cards, and beach games.  My husband, who wasn't officially on vacation but thankfully took a few days off, rightfully brought his work computer and cell phone.

How did we do with my intention for us to dis-connect?  I give the my son and me about a C, while my daughter and husband earned a B.  While I only did one of the three projects on my mind this vacation (which is good that I restrained myself), I did check work email (on my phone) on many occasions, including while on the beach (which seems contradictory to the point of being on the beach, doesn't it?), at the pool, and out to dinner.  While my response rate wasn't as great or lengthy as normal, I hadn't set an "on vacation" default set, so felt that I should address any issues that wanted (not even needed) my attention.

My son struggled more with the concept of "relaxing" in a new setting.  To relax, to him, means to veg out watching Sports Center or a comedy show.  It was hard for him to find the beach relaxing, or kayaking, or anything that didn't involve DOING sports or interacting with technology in the form of a TV, iPad, or gaming device.  He did find some time to read during the day as a relaxing activity, which was good.  But I often found him technologically connected rather than immersing himself in his new environment.

As for my daughter and husband, they were better at enjoying the location, not picking up devices with any regularity, and focusing more on the environment.  They were able to sit quietly, enjoy the sun and beach activities, and be in the moment.  Their ability to do so allowed them to better immerse themselves in the experience.

This is a challenge I know many of us face, not just on vacations, but in our daily lives.  How do we use technology when we need it, but make good decisions and limit our use during times of wanting rather than needing?  And are we good about really differentiating the difference?  I personally know I need to work more on being present with those who are with me, to pay attention to what they are doing, saying, asking.  At work, am I making time to have face to face conversations, or if someone stops in my office, am I detaching from what I was doing on the computer to be actively present?  At home, more importantly, am I separating work and home, and technology and face time, to be present with my family?  Am I modeling for my children the example I want to be?

In an age where technology allows many connections beyond our smaller, more personal worlds, it should never interrupt or substitute for having real world experiences, making real-life connections, and building face to face relationships.  So while I continue to work on my communication with staff and parents, and utilize technology to help with that, I am also reminded to balance that with face to face connections.  I invite you to reflect on your balance, and to share your thoughts as to creating a balance between appropriate technology use and living life "present".