Removing Masks

I am writing this blog post on a Friday rather than Sunday, as I want to share today's assembly experience while it's fresh in my mind and heart.

For those of you who attended last night's performance by Michael Fowlin, you know what I'm talking about (or trying to put into words).  For those who were unable to attend, I will try to share with you what happened in today's performance at Coolidge, as it was extremely moving, and likely had a strong impact on all who saw it.

Michael Fowlin started his show with a poem by Langston Hughes:

Still Here

been scared and battered.
My hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me,
Sun has baked me,

Looks like between 'em they done
Tried to make me

Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin' --
But I don't care!
I'm still here!


From there, Michael started to take on different characters.  He was able to flow from one character to another in such a believable manner that the audience was left wondering what pieces of each character were actually him.  He began as a kindergartener with ADD, transformed into a black, gay football player, then to Jewish Korean student; a feminist; and a boy with cerebral palsy.  With each character, their mask was taken off and their truth was unveiled.  They were each beautiful for their differences.  He made the students then say, "I am beautiful," and then to someone near them, "You are beautiful."

While the show was filled with characters, it really wasn't about those characters.  It was about the audience.  By identifying with aspects of different characters, the audience was able to start to identify who each of them are under their own masks, what they truly struggle with , and what they share about themselves to be truth.  It was about getting us to admit to ourselves that our true selves are beautiful and we should wear this truth with pride.

Reading students wearing masks, you ask?  In this suburban, upper middle class community of good intent, high achievement, empathy, athleticism, and kindness, we are wearing masks?  Absolutely.  Michael noted (at last night's community presentation) that when he told a story to the high schoolers that often begets a laugh, they were quiet, which showed great emotional intelligence.  Yet in a community of students with high emotional intelligence, there are also risks, as this often means that the population doesn't connect with the fact that they are wearing masks.  In that case, the act of opening up, and exposing their individuality, is even more of a challenge in these situations.

So how did Michael challenge us to expose ourselves?  He kept coming back to the phrase, "There is a difference between what you are supposed to do and what you need to do."  This means don't just be a bystander in life.  Don't just let things happen and don't just try to go along with the "norm".   Instead, stand up for what you believe, identify who you are, and celebrate it.  Make a lasting difference.  Celebrate what makes each person different rather than conforming.  Don't be a "zebra", much less a lion that might attack a zebra.  The lions are obviously aggressive (bullies).  But when a zebra is attacked, what do the other zebras do?  Turn and run?  No, they stand and stare.  Don't be a zebra.

Michael asked a moving question: Who are you right now?  If your life were to end right now, what is your legacy?  Are you leaving behind a life you are proud of, something that can last positively beyond you, and because of you?

The room was silent.  So often we talk with children about their futures, and who they want to be, and what they want their life to be.  But who are they now?  What are they doing in the moment to define themselves, and to make the world a better place?  Are they making the people around them feel better after meeting them then before they met them?  Are they able to define who they are and to celebrate that?

A survey question asked an elderly population about what three things they would do differently if they could live life again.  The three top answers?
1) Reflect more.
2) Risk more.
3) Do more things that would live on after they pass on.

I encourage our families to do this together.  Reflect together about your challenges, both individual and as a family.  How do they impact you?  How do they define you?  Who are you, both individually and as a family?  Define who you are and own it.  Celebrate it. Take risks together.  And set goals as to what little things you can each do to make the world a better place.  They don't have to be big things; little things can make a big impact.  Find the truth each other, the people behind the masks, and give that truth power, both individually and together.  "We are far more powerful together than we are alone."

At the end of the assembly, I was on stage and I asked the audience to thank Dr. Fowlin one more time.  They began to clap.  And then they began to stand.  Within moments, all students and teachers were on their feet, clapping with thanks, some smiling, some crying.  It was the most powerful moment I have experienced in my nine years at Coolidge.  I knew that the students really felt the message of acceptance, owned the message, and were willing to stand up in support of it.  I was all teary and admitted that to the students.

I am so proud of them.  And now, moving forward, the adults in the school hope to support them as they speak their truth, as they own their lives, and as they take off their masks, and as they help to make the world a better place.  For some it won't be easy.  For some they are already doing it.  But to think that this experience can help to foster a celebration of diversity and individuality and difference.... how powerful.

Students, parents, Coolidge Community.... You are beautiful!